I don’t get irritated by some things.
Did you know that the Stoke-on-Trent accent removes ambiguity?
We don’t get mixed up between
You’re (‘Ewer’) and your (‘Yore’)
And as we speak, so we spell, correctly.

We still have a problem with
Their dog is over there,
Even though we say, ’Thee-er dog is ower thee-er’.
But we solve onother problem with: ‘They’re (‘They-er’) coming to tea with their (‘Thee-er’) dog’.

I also don’t get irritated by some other things, pacifically nice malapropisms,
Or, pace Ronnie Barker, pismronunciations –
My neighbour in the Shropshire countryside, when perplexed, used to say,
‘Oh that’s a real nocundrum!’

This is what irritates me,
Let me specify the Irritation level:
Not enough to kill, or throw my dinner across the room;
It’s shouting at the TV level.
You are all familiar with that level.

And I know this really upsets you and I
In fact, it’s a real annoyance for you and I
When people are talking to you and… I
Or in the hearing of you and… I
It takes away the equanimity from you and… I
And makes us shout at the TV.

‘ME’!